Gods of Myth and Midnight: A LitRPG Novel (Seeds of Chaos Book 3) by Azalea Ellis

Author:Azalea Ellis [Ellis, Azalea]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Seladore Publishing
Published: 2018-09-10T06:00:00+00:00

Denial lurched within me. I bolted up from the table, slammed the door open and stumbled outside without my winter gear. I fell to my knees in front of the cabin and shook with suppressed rage, fear, and guilt.

My fingers curled, clawing uselessly against the ground, and I let out a low moan as tears ran freely down my cheeks. They turned cold and began to freeze, but I didn’t care.

Inside, the others were shouting. I heard something break. Someone was crying, sobbing.

Footsteps crunched behind me, and then Torliam was sinking onto the hard-packed snow beside me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me toward him.

I shuddered, gasping around the pain in my heart and the tears soaking into his shirt. “My fault,” I managed, the words half-mangled.

“No,” he said, and I was surprised at the thickness of tears in his own voice, the feel of his breath hitching in his chest. “No, not your fault.”

But I knew the queen wouldn’t have ordered the attack on Earth if not for me.

“My mother, she caused this. Not you. And before her, NIX is responsible. They did this, all of them, playing with the lives of others without regard.”

I knew that wasn’t the whole truth of it. I was responsible, in my own way, because I’d been so afraid to die that I’d pushed for people to believe I was the chosen one who could find their lost god. I’d given Queen Mardinest the reason and the justification to attack Earth.

I was the reason China was dead. I was the reason Chanelle had the Sickness, and the kids, too. I was the reason Adam’s back was broken. Blaine was assassinated because of me. It was all me. All my fault.

If I’d just been willing to die from the beginning, maybe none of it would have happened. Maybe that city would still be standing. I couldn’t even find the Champion. Maybe because I was never going to be the one to find him.

“No,” I rasped. “My fault. I…I lied.” The confession almost made me dizzy.

Torliam didn’t respond.

“I lied from the beginning,” I continued. “My quest to defeat the God of Knowledge, the reward didn’t have anything to do with the Sickness. It was information about the Seed of Chaos, and it was killing me. You weren’t going to help, so I lied, and then everything seemed to work out with the Seal of Nine and the prophecy, but what if I can’t find the Champion? That means it’s my fault—” I stopped rambling as I ran out of air. I looked up slowly, afraid to see the look on Torliam’s face.

When I did, it was like a punch in the gut.

Pain, anger, and disgust. He drew back from me and stood up. He took another step backward and paused for a moment, as if he wanted to say something. Then he shook his head and walked away, moving into the darkness instead of back toward the cabin.

I didn’t watch him

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